Eat, Pray, Love: Questions to Consider

Chapter 1: Question: What is it that you seek when you are attempting to heal? What gives you comfort?




Chapter 2: When we seek balance in our lives, it is important to “have it all” or only that which we are really interested in having?



Chapter 3: How do we identify ourselves? What are the characteristics that we use to define ourselves?



Chapter 4: What tips do you have for others in recognizing when you simply have to surrender control of a situation?



Chapter 5: When disaster strikes, who are the people that you reach out to?



Chapters 6-8: If given a choice to do one thing completely different than your life right

now for one month, what would it be?



Chapter 9: How can calling upon the positive energy of our friends and colleagues help center us?

INTRODUCTION (or How This Book Works or The 109th Bead)


Japa Malas are strings of beads used by Hindus and Buddhists in meditation to help with focus and devotion (this idea later morphed into the rosary). Three represents balance: the Trinity, a barstool, etc., and japa malas have 108 beads “a perfect, three-digit multiple of three”. Ergo, in effort to find personal balance, the book itself has 108 chapters in 3 sections (36 chapters in each section) chronicling the author’s journey to three locations: Italy (to study pleasure and food), India (to study prayer and meditation) and Indonesia (to study balance). There is a 109th bead attached to the japa mala which prompts the mediator to thank their teachers. This introduction serves as 109th bead, and is not only an introduction, but also Gilbert’s grateful acknowledgement to her teachers and friends.

BOOK ONE: ITALY (or Say It Like You Eat It or 36 Tales about the Pursuit of Pleasure)

1

“I wish Giovanni would kiss me,” is Gilbert’s opening hook. Giovanni is her Italian language exchange partner, whose charm is only increased by the fact that he is much younger, Italian, tall, dark and handsome and has an equally charming, tall, dark and handsome twin. But, she proceeds to explain why this is a bad idea. It’s not that she has any moral compunction about having twin lovers, but that she has decided that, in her search for healing and peace, a year of celibacy is necessary medicine.

2

Gilbert flashes back to three years ago to tell the events that catapulted her out of her marriage and into this journey across the world. As she said, “I was trying so hard not to know this, but the truth kept insisting itself to me. I don’t want to be married anymore. I don’t want to live in this big house. I don’t want to have a baby.” As the primary bread winner, she had worked hard to create the ideal suburban life, and even as it progressed famously on the outside, on the inside she was not only questioning that she wanted it, but dreading having to live it. She declines to give specifics on the collapse of her marriage, admitting it would be a biased report. But, the critical point not only of this chapter but also in her life happened as her marriage disintegrated: “What happened was that I started to pray. You know – like, to God.”

3

As she has introduced “that loaded word—God” into the book for the first time, she takes a chapter to, “explain exactly what I mean when I say that word, just so people can decide right away how offended they need to get.” She describes her very inclusive theology saying that even though she uses the “word God… [she] could just as easily use the words Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu or Zeus” or the ancient Sanskrit “That” or “even the most poetic manifestation of God’s name… ‘The Shadow of the Turning.’” She says the terms themselves are all “equally adequate and inadequate descriptions of the indescribable” and she has chosen the name “God” out of simple preference.

Gilbert was raised Protestant and therefore considers herself a “cultural” Christian and not a theological one, meaning that, though she does “love that great teacher of peace who was called Jesus” and even occasionally asks herself, “WWJD?”, she “can’t swallow that one fixed rule of Christianity insisting that Christ is the only path to God.” Rather, she is drawn with “breathless excitement to anyone who has ever said that God does not live in a dogmatic scripture or in a distant throne in the sky, but instead abides very close to us indeed – much closer than we can imagine, breathing right through our own hearts… and who has [reported]… that God is an experience of supreme love.”

She compares her beliefs about God to a “really great dog” she got from the pound – “a mixture of about ten different breeds [that] seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all.” When asked what kind of dog she had, she simply answered “brown.” “Similarly, when the question is raised, ‘What kind of God do you believe in?’ my answer is easy: ‘I believe in a magnificent God’”

4

Gilbert describes her first prayer, “speaking to the creator of the universe as though we’d just been introduced at a cocktail party,” the simple essence of her prayer, “Please tell me what to do.” and the response she received which began with a comforting sense of being surrounded by silence and stillness and ended up with a voice speaking to her from within that still silence with warm compassion. The voice, she said, was her own voice, speaking from within herself. She says it was “perfectly wise, calm and compassionate…what my voice would sound like if I’d only ever experienced love and certainty in my life.” What did it say? “Go back to bed, Liz.” She says this wasn’t so much a religious conversion experience as the beginning of a religious conversation.

5

Her divorce got uglier than she thought possible. Meanwhile, she falls in love (and moves in) with David and 9-11 occurs (made all the more poignant by the way it parallels her marriage, “everything invincible that had once stood together now became a smoldering avalanche of ruin”). The relationship with David became a vortex of insecure addiction and withdrawal. Gilbert is honest and insightful in her analysis of herself during this time, making a poignant parallel between herself (hooked on David’s love, which was often withdrawn) and a junkie whose dealer no longer supplies the drug for free.

6

Gilbert qualifies that there were a few good things that did happen during the years of her divorce and on/off again relationship with David. The first good thing was that she started learning Italian for the pure love of it.

7

The second good thing that happened during this time was that she was introduced (by David) to an Indian Guru to help her in her newfound spiritual journey.

8

The final good thing was that, on a business trip in Bali, an old medicine man invited her to (or rather prophesied that she would) return to Bali and live with him for a time. He read her palm and prophesied several things – that she was a writer, would lose her fortune shortly and then regain it later, that she would have 2 marriages and that she would soon return to Bali.

9

Wanting both “worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence—the dual glories of a human life…the singular balance of the good and the beautiful” she decided to take a year to travel to Italy, India and Indonesia—four months in each place. And in each place, rather than try to explore the country itself, Gilbert’s goal was “to thoroughly explore one aspect of [herself] …in a place that has traditionally done that thing very well”: Pleasure in Italy, Devotion in India, and Balance in Indonesia.

Twittering During The AIPLA Annual Meeting!

For all those twitterers out there, please plan to follow our Twitter account: Username: WomenInIP for updates on the various happenings during the week.

Also, follow or search for the term #WomeninIP to participate or use that same phrase to post your own Tweets. For those attending the meeting, please share your thoughts and observations. For those not attending, we'd love to hear your responses and thoughts and questions.

AIPLA Annual Meeting Women in IP Law/Corporate Practice Joint Breakfast Meeting

Please join us Friday, October 22nd from 6:45-8:45 am for a joint program with the Corporate Practice Committee on "Mastering the Art of the In-House/Outside Counsel Relationship:How to Create It, Maintain It, and Help It Grow."  A short business meeting will be held right before the program where the date of the 2011 Women in IP Law Cross Country Networking Receptions will be announced along with our next book club selection.  We hope to see everyone in Washington, D.C. 

May 24- June 6: Chapters 9-10: Asking for What You Want and Now is the Time

Asking for what you want is often the most difficult thing for women but rarely do people get what they want without doing so. Often people have a hard time asking because they see it as too risky or fear rejection. Also, others don’t want to be asking for personal favors, be on the hook for favors or have people know what is really motivating them. The majority of these concerns can be dispelled by recognizing that they may say no and that is not the end of the world. Asking for what you want should be viewed as the beginning of a negotiation. If the answer is no, there may be a fall back position that will still be satisfactory. Also, finding out why the answer is no can give valuable information for the next question. Understanding what your value is in the marketplace and in your organization allows you to determine what your choices are and to make a plan.


Question: What is my follow up question when I hear the word no?

Question: What is stopping me from asking the questions I want answered?

Question: How do I increase my comfort level in asking for information and assistance?

Question: Where do I want to be in one year? Five years? What should I be doing to achieve that?

May 10- May 23: Chapters 7-8: Capitalizing on Your Political Savvy and Making Your Words Count

People who are politically savvy know where to get the right information and understand what people want to know. Understanding whether one is politically savvy allows one to reliably read a situation or seek out the advice of another who is. These activities allow us to learn the unwritten rules and gauge when information is valuable or irrelevant. By honing one’s skills, one can learn how to read nonverbal clues, quickly size of situations and spend time on those activities that have the most impact on improving your position.

• Question: How does one improve their executive presence?
• Question: What are the most effective 5 things I can do to size up a situation in the first 4 minutes?
• Question: Which of the nine elements of executive presence are most effective for my career path? Which ones should I be working on?
• Question: What is your elevator speech?
• Question: Which is the most important of the three elements of successful conversation?
• Question: What is an effective technique for active listening on teleconferences?

You're Invited: Diversity Committee Reception at the Spring Meeting

The American Intellectual Property Law Education Foundation and the AIPLA Diversity Committee request the pleasure of your company at the Annual AIPLEF Spring Cocktail Reception

at

Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler LLP

1133 Avenue of the Americas - 24th Floor

(between 43rd and 44th Streets)

Less than five minute walk from the Marriott Marquis

Thursday, May 6, 2010

5:30 – 7:30 p.m.

The AIPLEF actively promotes diversity in the intellectual property bar including providing educational, mentoring, and employment opportunities to minority students and new minority attorneys actively seeking a career in intellectual property law.

The AIPLA Diversity Committee is committed to increasing the awareness of minority college students, particularly engineering and science students, to career opportunities in intellectual property law. The Diversity Committee is also committed to developing and implementing programs to encourage minority

attorney participation in all aspects of AIPLA and the IP bar.

To register, please email Dina Longo,dlongo@pbwt.com or call 212.336.2756.

Check Out Photos from the Seattle Women in IP Law Dinner hosted by Knobbe Martens

April 26 – May 9: Chapter 6: Forming Your Own Board of Directors

Strategic relationships are often as important and sometime more important than one’s own capabilities and credentials. By utilizing networking and building connections and relationships with decision makers, you have the opportunity to learn from them and rely on them to mentor you. Establishing your own informal “board of directors” allows you to really focus on those relationships that can really have an impact on your career.

Question: How comfortable are you reaching out to others for advice and support? What techniques are available to increase your comfort level and improve your ability to showcase your skills?

Question: Should your network of contacts be limited to professional contacts or include personal contacts as well?

Question: How does one identify the people that should be in your network and on your board of directors?

Question: What techniques are most effective for reaching out to strangers for assistance?

Women in IP Law Committee Liaisons (submitted by Shannon Grace Stevens, Esq.)

The Women in IP Law Committee has been especially active in building and maintaining a team of energetic liaisons to the other AIPLA Committees, strengthening inter-committee communication and teamwork. Liaisons are members of the WIPL committee who are also active members of another AIPLA committee and are willing to bring news from each to the other. Committee leadership is not required, nor is dedicated attendance at every AIPLA meeting. Liaisons should be on all committee mailing lists and be dedicated to actively liaising between their committees. Because very few AIPLA members attend every meeting or reads every announcement, the WIPL committee would ideally have two liaisons to each of the other AIPLA committees. Some committees are popular and are frequently requested. Interested members will determine their committee assignments in conjunction with WIPL leadership, ensuring sustained interest in the post and even distribution of liaisons to other committees. Liaisons volunteer for two-year stints.


Volunteering as a liaison is a great way to begin an active involvement in the AIPLA and is very often the first step to leadership positions in this organization. It does not require a lot of time or energy, but it does give you a reason to pay attention to the things going on in committees. Once you begin really listening to what the committees are saying, you are sure to find a place where you and your particular talents are needed. AIPLA is truly built on its committees and the activities they undertake. The Women in IP Law invite you to get more involved in this committee by becoming a liaison today. If you're interested or would like to discuss this more, email Carey Jordan, chair, Alyson Barker, co-chair, and Shannon Stevens, liaison coordinator. We're happy to have you.

ccjordan@mwe.com
barkera@howrey.com
sstevens@vantage-partners.com

Book Club April 12- April 25: Chapters 4 and 5: Embracing Good Enough and Making the Break

Perfectionism can be an early source of success that turns into a major sticky floor. Recognizing how to prioritize a busy schedule and focus on what really impacts the bottom line is one of the first steps to achieving work life balance and focusing on those aspects of your work and life that really matter. Learning to recognize the signs of perfectionism (self-doubt, perceptual dissatisfaction, superiority, risk-aversion, low tolerance for mistakes, fear of failure, strong need to please, the illusion of self-imposed standards) enables us to separate ourselves from our misunderstanding of what it takes to succeed.

Book Club March 29- April 11: Introduction, Chapters 1-3: Know Yourself-Be Yourself, Taking Action for Knowing and Being Yourself, Balancing Your Work and Life

Only 14.5 percent of Fortune 500 CEO positions are held by women. Historically, it has been thought that this is the result of a glass ceiling, i.e., that others, usually men, are preventing women from achieving. However, it may be that women are actually holding themselves back by their own behaviors. Although women have effectively strategized how to excel in the classroom, those same skills do not necessarily land them in the corner office. The sources of “sticky floors” fall into seven categories: balancing work and life, embracing “good enough” in your work, making the break, making your words count, forming your own board of directors, capitalizing on your political savvy and asking for what you want. By identifying what behaviors are holding you back, you can learn how to get unstuck and succeed on your own terms.


As discussed in chapter 1, the path to success begins with self-awareness. Understanding what you want enables you to focus on achieving it. By being aware of what really motivates you, you can both enjoy your career and succeed at the same time. This self awareness also requires that you take stock of your strengths and weaknesses.

AIPLA Women in IP Law Virtual Book Club

Moderator Notes: It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

By Rebecca Shambaugh

• Introduction

Forget the old boys' club: women are the ones holding themselves back from top-level career success, advises Shambaugh, president and CEO of consulting firm Shambaugh Leadership. Though more businesswomen are in successful positions of power, they are still lagging behind men at the highest levels: more than a third of Fortune 500 managers and more than half of those with multidisciplinary master's degrees are women, yet women hold only 13% of Fortune 500 CEO positions. This lack of forward motion is due more substantially to women's own career-inhibiting behavior than to cultural impediments, Shambaugh claims. Women are more likely than men to shy away from leadership roles, to get bogged down in perfectionism and to avoid career-boosting changes out of a misplaced sense of loyalty. Through a series of exercises and self-appraisals, Shambaugh guides readers with executive suite aspirations through an evaluation of their own behaviors and skills, gauging which serve their ambitions and which are holding them back. Emphasizing strategic relationships, communication and the elements of executive presence, she writes in an encouraging tone with a refreshing lack of blame, making this a satisfying read for women stuck in middle management limbo.

Turn the top 7 career breakers for women into career makers

Statistically, more than one-third of Fortune 500 managers are women-and yet we represent barely five percent of the top earners among executives. Usually, we blame it on men-those “old boy” networks that don't typically welcome women into “the club.” But, according to leadership coach Rebecca Shambaugh, the real obstacle to women's advancement is not a “glass ceiling.” It's the self-imposed career blocks that prevent us from moving up.

These are the 7 “sticky floors”:


1. Balancing Your Work and Life


2. Embracing “Good Enough” in Your Work


3. Making the Break


4. Making Your Words Count


5. Forming Your Own Board of Directors


6. Capitalizing on Your Political Savvy


7. Asking for What You Want

Admit it: You've probably been “stuck” in at least one or more of these situations. Maybe you're a perfectionist who has trouble letting go of a task. Maybe you're so loyal to your company that you haven't explored other career options. Maybe you're afraid of speaking up in meetings. Or maybe you're so accommodating to others' needs that you never take care of your own.

This book will show you how to get unstuck from these common traps. You'll discover how other successful women have managed to break out of middle management jobs to grab the top leadership positions. You'll hear hard-won advice from working mothers who also happen to be CEOs, including proven tricks of the trade when it comes to juggling career and family. You'll learn how to conquer your insecurities, transform your thinking, tailor your behavior, and demand the kind of professional recognition you deserve. There's even a section of fill-in charts and checklists at the end of the book to help you stay on track, in control, and on the rise.

Once you've freed yourself from life's sticky floors, there's nowhere to go but up.

Photos from Chicago Dinner

Photos From the Detroit Dinner - Looks Like A Great Time Was Had By All

Tonight Is the Big Night

After many months of planning, the Women in IP Law Committee will host its 3rd Annual Women in IP Law dinners this evening. The dinners are scheduled to take place in 27 cities throughout the U.S. and Canada but due to weather conditions on the East Coast a couple of locations have decided to postpone their dinners (Washington, D.C., Northern Virginia, Dallas, Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh). If you were planning on attending one of those dinners stay tuned for more information from the hosts on when each dinner will be rescheduled.

We look forward to seeing you all tonight and encourage those of you who are familiar with twitter to post updates of the dinners throughout the evening. If you do not have a twitter account or are unable to attend a dinner, you can follow “tweets” by searching twitter for #womeninip. We already have quite a conversation taking place online.

Months of planning have gone into tonight’s dinners and we are so grateful to all of the hosts who have graciously volunteered to plan and underwrite the entire cost of each dinner. Thank you also to the staff of AIPLA for their assistance and a big thank you to Hathaway Russell of Foley Hoag LLP for organizing a very complicated dinner party (27 different hosts in four time zones)! Thank you Hathaway.

Let’s Tweet Live From the Networking Dinners

For the first time ever, the various locations of the Women in IP Law Networking dinners will be connecting through Twitter. Participants are encouraged to let others know what’s happening in your event and/or follow what other events are doing via your Twitter account. Not attending - you can follow the events remotely as well.

Follow or search for the term #WomeninIP to participate or use that same phrase to post your own Tweets about your Networking Dinner. Let others know about this Twitter experiment even if you can’t participate.

Questions about Twitter or how to join in on February 11th? Contact Sarah Foley(sfoley@yeeiplaw.com) or Bea Swedlow (swedlow@butzel.com).

Gender Diversity Research Article

Interesting article from WomenLegal on Gender Diversity, entitled Opinion: Read all about it...

Remember to Register for the Women in IP Law Dinners

Registration is open for the 2010 Women in IP Law dinners.  To register, click here and select the location of the dinner you would like to attend.  You will then receive a confirmation e-mail showing the city you registered for and approximately a week before the dinner you will be contacted by the host with specific directions and any special instructions. 

You do not need to be an AIPLA member to attend and registration is free of charge thanks to all of our wonderful sponsors.  You are encouraged to pass this information along to your friends and colleagues.  We hope to see you all there.

Help Us Tweet Live From the Mid-Winter Meeting

Attending the AIPLA Mid-Winter Institute later this month?  Not attending?  Either way, be there with Twitter!  For the first time, the Women in IP Law Committee will be Tweeting live from the Committee Meeting on Friday, Jan. 29 from 7 AM to 9 AM and you can follow or join in the discussion from your own Twitter account.


Follow or search for the term #WomeninIP to participate or use that same phrase to post your own Tweets about the meeting.  Let others know about this Twitter experiment even if you can’t participate.  Questions about Twitter or how to join in on Jan. 29?  Contact Sarah Foley(sfoley@yeeiplaw.com) or Bea Swedlow (swedlow@butzel.com).  Bea (@beazzy) will be on-site at the meeting to help Tweets get going.